Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Nerves, Tears & NO plane crashes please!

So, Monday morning the 2nd of May after many crazy days of planning, last minute packing, making a "holy grail" notebook for Justin with the info of which child goes to which place & appointment for the next 2 weeks--- We headed out for the airport, keeping only 1yr old Isabel with us for the ride, mainly because I knew I couldn't take leaving her in a heart broken tear fest. My 5, 4 and almost 3yr old boys all waved, blew kisses and smiled as I left, that was a blessing from the Lord because Gideon had been crying for the last week, "Mommy, please don't go to Africa I'm going to miss you so much."

I walked away from my wonderful husband and headed alone through security. I wasn't prepared for how alone that felt. I was meeting another group of people from Texas in a few hours before we flew out of the country, but still felt so alone. I had joked to some of the girls back home that I felt sorry for the person who accidentally would end of sitting next to me on the plane, because they would get to know me real quick as I held their hand during take off; but as the plane filled and got ready for take off I realized that the seat next to me was empty. Now I used to "brag" about being such a tough girl, but the truth is I've always been a very scared lonely girl and this adventure the Lord was taking me on was a huge step of faith into his arms. I've never been without my wonderful husband, who is my home, for that many days. I spend every moment of my day with my precious children who haven't been without momma more than a couple days. I was afraid of what these people from Texas would think of me, afraid of my plane crashing in the ocean and it NOT landing on a island with Matthew Fox; afraid of falling in love with Africa and not wanting to leave; basically afraid for what God was going to say to me because I knew nothing would ever be the same.

I didn't have a stranger sitting next to me, but I felt the Lord hold my hand and heart as the plane soared into the sky. The June Missioniary team from here in Jefferson City had made some notes and cards for me that got "slipped" into my backpack for the plane. Also a special journal for me to keep my thoughts and prayers in. In the front the the Journal Justin had taken paint and hand printed each our children for me and wrote some amazing loving words to send me on my way. So I sat with tears of joy and read as I listened to my hubby's ipod. This scripture was in the first note (from a loving friend): The Lord himself goes before you, and will be with you, he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged. Duet: 31:8 The Lord also gave me this Barlow Girl song. Never Alone.

I arrived in the next airport, got some dinner, found my gate and waited for the Texas group to arrive, their flight was delayed but they were on their way. Not to worried, until our international flight started boarding.... no team yet?.... now, maybe a little worried! Waited a little longer.... still no team! Ok Lord, now I'm worried! I finally get a text that they just landed and were hurring my way. Thank you Lord! & off we went, I didn't sit close to anyone else from the team that flight, but I had comfort in knowing that at least someone on the plane new my name. But the ultimate comfort and truth is: He knows my Name! My Life scripture, the one I cling too, kept replaying in my mind, Psalm 139. And in verse 16 The Lord reminded me that; "all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to me!"
The Journey is on! I just need to pay attention, listen for his voice and obey!


  1. Oh my, Chris, I feel as if I'm on the plane with you. Your words and faith are gripping me. Thank you for sharing.

  2. I completely agree with Vicky!!!